


Paparazzi

by Seigetsu_Ren



Series: Unrelated YukiSayo Shorts [21]
Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Established Relationship, F/F, Minor Original Character(s), POV Minor Character, POV character is a mad yukisayo fan, POV character is a paparazzi and the reader is her boss, Yukina is a diva while Sayo is her guitarist, stupid comedy, you get to smack the POV character with newspaper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-08 12:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18623005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seigetsu_Ren/pseuds/Seigetsu_Ren
Summary: While all the others try to figure out which pasty-faced boy singer is dating Minato Yukina, I have already zoomed in on the TRUTH! Minato is gay for her guitarist!





	Paparazzi

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously this is for lols and not healthy representation of any kind. The POV character is meant to be smacked, which is why you get to smack her with newspaper.

Minato Yukina is the biggest thing in the music industry right now. Everybody wants to write about her because everybody knows it’s going to sell better than hotcakes. Who cares if the headlines are real or not? She’s dating the son of a cabinet minister? An oil tycoon? A yakuza leader? All three at once? Doesn’t matter. Fans would lap up any rumours of her tightly concealed love life.

How unprofessional. How unethical!

I am not like the others. I am a paparazzi of _substance_. Sure, I camp outside celebrity homes and spy on them with drones and shit, but it’s only for the _truth_ that the public _deserves_ to know.

And what does the public deserve to know about Minato Yukina? *rolls eyes* Obviously the fact that she’s _gay_!

Okay, before you rip me apart for my wish to out her, let me preface my argument by saying I’m gay too. Come on, that’s why my gaydar is beeping like crazy while those gullible straights are still arguing over whether Minato’s tastes are in macho wrestlers or pale-faced boys. Anyway, I know how it feels to be outed. Not cool. But here’s the thing. She’s a public figure. Young gays look up to people like her for representation. So, she has some responsibility that the rest of us don’t, alright? And ultimately, I’m just doing this for her own good. How pleasant can it be to always be paired with stinky old geezers when your actual date is a drop-dead gorgeous and ripped femme guitarist whose fingers are long and rough and her jawline can just _kill_ … **PLEASE STEP ON ME, HIKAWA SAYO!!!**

Ahem. Excuse my outburst. I believe I may have just given away my story. That’s right. Minato Yukina is definitely dating Hikawa Sayo. I am willing to bet you my morning donut that this is the case.

Evidence? The fact that they look so good together? I mean, silver and turquoise is just a match made in heaven. And the way they stare at each other on-stage. Who else can Minato be referring to when she sings “Dearest, you are my deeeeaaaaaaaareeeeeeeeeest!”?

*coughs* Excuse me again. I love that song.

So, you want more concrete proof? How was all that not concrete enough? Well, lean this way then. I’m gonna whisper, because this may just be exclusive scoop. You seen the kimono Minato wore on New Years? There was a stripe of turquoise on the collar. And Hikawa’s likewise had a violet stripe on her obi – violet being Minato’s representative colour.

“Kobayashi-san.”

Yes? What is it, Boss?

“You got me to lean over just to tell me all this _conjecture_ about kimono colours?”

But it is not conjecture, Boss. This is solid! You can’t expect people like Minato and Hikawa to up and announce their relationship!

“Oh yes, I can.”

_Bam._

I read the newspaper tossed in my direction. The headline reads “Minato Yukina Announces Vegas Marriage to Female Guitarist”.

What!?

“She held a press conference last night. What were you doing? Shouldn’t you have been following her as assigned?”

But…But I was breaking into her lawn and even got chased out by her dog _and_ her cat!

“She and Hikawa were touring in Hokkaido.”

They were??

_Smack._

Ow. Even though it’s just newspaper, getting smacked with it sorta hurts. Uwuuu…

“Five other tabloids have this on their front page. The Asatsuki dug up how they met in high school through the former indie band, _Roselia_ , and chronicled every little event between the two since then till now. And that dog that chased you out? The name is Tama and the cat is Pochi.”

Wait, shouldn’t the cat be Tama and the dog be Pochi?

“You can question Minato and Hikawa’s naming sense yourself. The Asatsuki had taped a conversation backstage where Minato literally said she liked Hikawa, on top of her usual praise for the latter’s sound. They had a photograph of Minato helping carry Hikawa’s books while blushing like a hormonal teenager. And photographs of them standing together at the beach, at a summer festival, heck, going into the same home? They are both registered owners of said home too! With this mountain of evidence, you chose to sell me kimono colours?”

But…But kimono colours are important. And, like, just look at how beautiful they were.

I pass the photograph I took a few months ago of Minato and Hikawa at hatsumoude, sporting those gorgeous kimonos while talking under the snow-covered branches about their common present reaching into high but clear future goals. Ah…their lily love is so pure and wonderful. My heart is swelling with such admiration that it makes me want to churn out eighty thousand words worth of fanfic in their dedication…

“Kobayashi-san.”

…

Yes, Boss!

“How did you not notice that Minato and Hikawa were wearing their wedding rings in this photo?”

Wedding. Rings?

I snatch the photo over and right there, on both their ring fingers, were matching platinum rings, Minato’s with a turquoise and Hikawa’s with a lavender amethyst set in the center.

Ah.

“Ko-Ba-Ya-Shi-San!?”

I slam my head on the table. I am so sorry. I am so sorry for having betrayed my YukiSayo love by not spotting the matching rings. How can I live with my title as the #1 YukiSayo Fan in the Universe? Ugh…please kill me.

But before I die, I must first witness their wedding. Somebody videotaped it right? I don’t care if it’s the Asatsuki Press or the Tamanegi Press. I have to see this! YukiSayo in wedding dresses, saying their vows of eternity. Aaaaaaaaaaah…blood is dripping from my nose, but that must be from the sheer bliss of just imagining such unworldly perfection. I am sure if I were to behold such a beautiful scene with my very eyes I would ascend to the next plane of existence…


End file.
